


Nightmares

by radioqueen



Category: The Bright Sessions (Podcast)
Genre: Bad Things Happen Bingo, Choking, Codependency, Dubious Consent, F/M, Manipulation, Nightmares, Rough Sex, Suicidal Thoughts, Unhealthy Relationships, anger issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2019-05-25 08:01:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14972699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radioqueen/pseuds/radioqueen
Summary: DetectiveJoan requested Nightmares + Wadsworth. Naturally, I decided to have Wadsworth be the cause of other people's nightmares. TW for suicidal ideation and dubious consent (due to codependency).





	Nightmares

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DetectiveJoan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DetectiveJoan/gifts).



At first, Sam thought she’d woken up from her own nightmare. Then she heard Mark.

“No! No, no, please don’t hurt her,” Mark sobbed. “Camille! Camille! Fuck...”

“Mark?” Sam fought the urge to touch Mark, her throat still sore from the last time she’d tried to wake him from a nightmare. “Mark, wake up.”

“No, no, she didn’t… she didn’t do anything wrong…”

“It’s okay, Mark.” Sam turned the lamp on. “You’re not there anymore. You’re here, with me.”

“No…”

“Yes, Mark. You’re safe. Open your eyes.”

Darwin hopped onto the bed and sat on Sam’s lap, watching Mark in concern. Sam scratched Darwin behind his ears.

“Mark, Darwin’s here,” Sam said. “He’s worried about you.”

That got Mark to open his eyes. “Darwin?”

“Yeah, look, it’s Darwin.”

Right on cue, the cat made a _mrrrp_ sound and sauntered from Sam’s lap to cuddle against Mark’s chest. He worriedly licked the tears off Mark’s chin until Mark gently pushed him away.

“Okay, buddy, thanks,” Mark said.

Darwin purred and headbutted Mark’s neck.

“Are you okay?” Sam asked.

“No, Sam, I’m not okay,” Mark said. “Honestly, I don’t think I’ve been okay for a long time.”

“I’m sorry.” It sounded lame, even as she said it. “What can I do?”

“Nothing,” Mark said. “Not a single fucking thing.”

Sam fidgeted. Surely there was something she could do. Maybe there was something, but he didn’t want her to be the one doing it. Maybe he wanted Damien to be the one doing it.

As if he’d sensed her anxiety, Mark sighed.

“Just you being in the same room with me is… good,” he said. “You don’t have to do anything else.”

“But I wish I could,” Sam said. “I feel so helpless when you have nightmares, and I don’t know what to do. If you ever think of anything I can do to help you calm down, let me know. I’d sing to you all night if you wanted me to. I’d even go out at 4 a.m. and get, I don’t know, ice cream or whatever, and you know my feelings on leaving the house in general.”

Mark chuckled, albeit tensely. “Thanks, Sam. I’ll take you up on that if I’m ever eating for two.”

“Hey, I don’t know what people do to make their significant others feel better in the middle of the night,” Sam laughed. “I’m pretty much just going off what I’ve seen in movies.”

“Fair enough,” Mark said. “No, seriously, you’re fine. Honestly, I can’t believe you haven’t left yet.”

“Where would I go?” Sam teased. “I’m pretty sure Joan’s couch is still covered in papers from yesterday.”

“No, I meant…” Mark swallowed. “I know it’s a lot. _I’m_ a lot.”

“Mark, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m also _‘_ a lot.’ My ability is a lot, my anxiety is a lot, I’m just. A lot.”

“And I’m one more thing you have to deal with,” Mark said darkly. “Sam, tell me the truth: would you be happier if I didn’t live here? If we broke up?”

“No!” Sam’s chest constricted all the way into her stomach. “No, Mark, please don’t—Am I too much for you? Are you breaking up with me? Do you not want to be with me anymore?”

“God no. You’re amazing.” Mark wiped his hand over his face. “I just don’t want to be like a weight dragging you underwater when you’re turning your life around. I’m a mess.”

“So am I,” Sam reassured him. “But you make me better! You make me happy! I think we make each other better and happier and healthier.”

“Do we?” Mark asked. “I feel like we do a lot of enabling. Don’t get me wrong; I’d still be hiding out and day-drinking if you were gone. More, even. And you’d probably still be checking the stove every five minutes if I weren’t here. But… I don’t know.” He sighed and curled up into a ball, hugging Darwin. “I wish I’d died instead of Camille. I think everyone’s life would be a lot better off if I had. Except Wadsworth’s. Ha. That alone almost makes me want to go blow my brains out on her front lawn. She’d probably still find a way to do experiments on me, though.”

It was all Sam could do not to disappear. This was her second-worst nightmare _and_ her third-worst nightmare simultaneously.

“Mark,” she pleaded. “Tell me what I can do to help.”

“Nothing,” he said, although this time he hesitated, like he wanted to say more. “Just sit with me for a while.”

“No, that’s bullshit,” Sam said. “I know you want something else. Tell me.”

“No, forget it.”

“Mark.”

“Look, it’s a shitty thing to ask for, and I can’t ask for it without coming across as a super manipulative, Damien-grade asshole, so just drop it.”

“Mark, just tell me. Please. I love you and want to help you however I can.”

“Okay, but keep in mind you’re not obligated to do it.” Mark frowned, petting Darwin instead of looking at Sam. “All right… I mean, on the _extremely_ off chance you felt like having sex, it would be nice to be that close to someone I love right now. But don’t feel obligated, okay? I’ll just feel shittier if you do it out of obligation, because I know it’s a terrible thing to ask someone for. But you did want to know...”

Sam’s mouth went dry at the “love” word and stayed dry all the way through. Had he really just said he loved her? Should she say it back, or would that be weird?

“Mark,” she said, then cleared her throat. “Of course I want to have sex with you. I really, really care about you. Just, uh, maybe you could show me what would feel best for you. I know there’s still a lot I don’t know.”

Despite sleeping next to each other every night for the past few weeks, they had only had sex two and a half times. Sam had wondered more than once if Mark, like her, wanted more but was too worried about her mental state to ask. It was better than the alternative, which was that he found her so off-putting he only asked when he was really desperate. But even if that was the case, now was her chance to do better.

“Are you sure?” Mark asked.

“Yeah! Yeah, of course, Mark. I love you. I would do anything for you. Please let me take care of you.”

“And you’ll stop me if you change your mind?”

“Yes, of course.”

Satisfied, Mark sat up, making Darwin chirp reprovingly. “Lie back,” Mark said.

Sam laid back. Mark stripped his T-shirt off, then tugged off her pajama bottoms and underwear together. She expected him to go down on her and work his fingers into her one at a time, like he usually did when they had sex. But instead, he climbed right on top of her, wrapping her legs around his back. For the first time, Sam was afraid she wasn’t wet enough and that it might hurt, but one look at Mark told her he was not in a good enough place to have a conversation about foreplay. Sam took a deep breath and tried to relax, only inhaling sharply when Mark entered her.

“Are you okay?” Mark asked.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m great,” Sam lied. “Just, still new to this, I guess.”

Mark was what Chloe teasingly called “well-endowed,” and Sam struggled to take him without any warmup. He kissed her so deeply she relaxed, finally starting to produce some much-needed natural lubrication.

“Can I—” Mark sighed. “God, I feel like the world’s biggest jerk.”

“What?” Sam stroked his hair. “Tell me.”

“Is it okay if I’m a little… rough?”

“I could maybe be into rough,” Sam said shyly.

“Promise you’ll stop me if you don’t like it?”

“I promise.”

Mark draped her legs over his arms so he could get a deeper angle. Sam winced as he hit her cervix. She already knew this was going to hurt, but she really, really wanted him to be okay.

Mark started out with hard, deep movements.

“Ah!” Sam said before she could stop herself, only narrowly avoiding saying, _“Ow!”_

“Do you want me to stop?” Mark asked.

“No, you’re fine,” Sam assured him. “Keep going.”

“Are you sure?”

“I promised I’d tell you if I wanted you to stop. Keep going.”

Mark contorted her body like he was trying to fold her in half, forcing her knees into her ribs. One hand came up to squeeze her throat as he moved faster. Sam couldn’t breathe, but she clung to the present, terrified to take Mark with her.

“Mark,” she croaked, trying to get a good breath.

Mark didn’t seem to hear her. He bit and scraped her nipples with his teeth until she squirmed. Tears trailed into her ears, and her nails dug into his strong, tattooed shoulders. Mark didn’t even seem to notice. He was lost in his own world, and Sam was terrified.

He was just so… angry. Sam wasn’t afraid of him, exactly, because she knew he would be devastated if he ever hurt her. But she was afraid of his anger, and the way he kept it clamped down. It reminded Sam of her mother’s old pressure cooker, and how Sam had always been terrified it would explode until her mother had safely released all the steam from it.

Maybe this was Mark’s way of releasing steam. If it meant keeping him from exploding and hurting himself, or even someone else… Sam closed her eyes. She would  just have to endure it, if not try to enjoy it.

She was just starting to finally get into it when Mark collapsed on top of her suddenly, releasing her throat. He sobbed into her neck, hugging her tightly. Bewildered, Sam hugged him in return, massaging his back.

“What’s wrong?” she asked him. “Are you okay? Mark, sweetie, talk to me.”

Mark just lay there, crying and crushing her, until he finally passed out again.

Sam waited for his gentle snores, then she carefully untangled herself from Mark, replaced herself with a purring Darwin, and snuck into the bathroom to travel.


End file.
